9/28/04 Anonymous
I can see why people want Kerry in office in 2005. He made this statement telling
everybody why he would be the winner because this is what he is going to do as President.
His plan is to pass The American With No Abilities Act
Picture this....
AMERICANS
WITH NO ABILITIES ACT PASSES CONGRESS May 23, 2005
WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress
approved sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The
Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA), signed into law by President John Kerry
shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory byadvocates of the
millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.
"Roughly 50 percent of
Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful
role for themselves in society," said Kerry, a longtime AWNA supporter.
"This is
why many of them voted for me. We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability
to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer
be able to grant special favors to small group of workers, simply because they do
a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing", said Kerry.
President Kerry
pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy
of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 80 percent
of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer
of Persons of Inability. Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination
against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home
improvement "warehouse" stores (65%).
President Kerry has also set an example, personally
selecting hundreds of Non-abled people for top government positions, including many
cabinet-level jobs. Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million
"middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little
real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.
Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee
upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides
substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons
of Inability in top positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses
that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the
AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against
the Non-abled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any
goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this
job?" and "Are you awake?"
"As a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep
up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost
her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of
notable job skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the passage
of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light
at the end of the tunnel.
Said Kerry, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each
and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of
space to take up in this great nation."
